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The Pendulum of Boredom

By Chris Newman
(Written for Ecclasia)

At first there was nothing. The nothing was boring. So suddenly the void of nothingness was suffused with boredom. And there was no longer nothing now that there was boredom. And the boredom increased and became more and more concentrated because there was nothing but boredom.

Eventually the boredom became so concentrated that it blew up and scattered into millions of tiny pieces of something. But to create something from nothing, each something must have an opposite something. So when this happened, the world was full of both tiny pieces of interesting things and tiny pieces of boring things. Some of the boring pieces became government bureaucrats, droning college professors in dingy lecture halls, lawyers for corporations, British cooks and even oppresive town leaders in dreary places with no chocolate shops. Some of the interesting pieces became entertainers, dancers, Chinese cooks and chocolate makers.

One of the most powerful interesting pieces became the maiden Goddess. But in order to be interesting she had to continually change, and so she did. She changed from maiden to mother to crone and back again. And each cycle was different. And she encouraged all the other interesting pieces to became more and more interesting. Another powerful interesting piece became the God of the hunt who also changed as the year passed and acted in concert with the Goddess.

The most powerful boring piece became the unchanging God. He didn't need to do anything since his people were already boring. His boring people insisted that everyone be just like them. They created rules which made it wrong for people to be different. They searched for the least creative and least interesting people to lead, these leaders had little more intelligence than an unchanging bush. The boring people could not spread boredom themselves. But occaisonally, the boring people would succeed in training an interesting person to spread boredom, often by convincing that interesting person that their differences were wrong and they had to make amends to the unchanging God.

And so the desire to keep things the same and the desire to enjoy an interesting life waged on. The pendulum of boredom swang from one side to the other. And the result was itself interesting and continually changing.


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This page last updated January 6, 2005